Call me so I can make it juicy for ya
Can we just schedule bi-weekly fucks and bypass all the bullshit?
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
We're like two naked peas in a sex pod.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
today is the best snowday of my entire life. also its no shirt day.
You spent most of the night crying and throwing leftover meatballs at the neighbors dogs
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Why am I the only one golf clapping for the vomiting girl on the train who just fell of her seat into her own vomit
Its a cash in stratch tickets to afford cigarettes and coffee kind of friday
It's like sexual waterboarding. You gave me sex so good I'm comparing it to torture. Jesus.
Did I seriously answer the door for a home delivery of weed from you and your boss while wearing last night's 80s rockstar face paint?
So being hungover in an office full of people with hangovers for 9 hours is quite possibly what hell will be like.
Randomize
