Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
not allowed to tweet this cos she's following me but i definitely just got head in a stairwell of the university of chicago. wanted you all to know.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
It was a cry at the bar alone type of night, served with a side of passing out facedown in my nachos.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
just thought you should know it took me an hour and a half to make soup. I had to keep laying on my kitchen floor. being 21 is hard.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
Please tell me there is not a bookmark on your browser with the title "Christmas Porn"
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
With a stable of 7 fuck buddies, I literally use a random number generator to determine the order in which I will booty call them on my way home from work. I have not slept in my own bed in a month. I just keep half my clothes hanging in my car or in a suitcase.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
Also we're getting drunk and sledding down Caroline street. See you soon.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
Randomize
