Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
I woke up, not remembering how or when or why i was even there and looked over to find Steph spooning with an adult black man.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
I can't believe you just thanked me for a blowjob on my Facebook wall...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Say what you want, but those Fraggle Rock DVDs have gotten me laid twice.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night was a whirlwind of vodka - induced emotion
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Did you mark a random day on my calendar as National Seth Day?
Sounds like a legit day to me.
What doesn't this kid understand that our relationship is not going past the blacked out blowjob I gave him on his birthday?
I hate when he takes the condom off to cum all over me. It defeats the purpose.
It’s like having a barf bag and choosing to puke in your own lap.
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize