you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
he wrote Vegans should suck on cow dick on her wall with permanent marker. thats how he got the black eye
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
a search helicopter?!
Worst PDA I've ever seen. She even licked the mustard off his mustach
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
So I found "Fat chicks in saran wrap" in my search history.
That's all you talk about when you are wasted.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
oh man that would be weird.. i feel like we should do dirty things before anything super intimate like a massage.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
