Because of no shave november, it's no boys december... pay back
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
The remote chance that I may get a blowjob is about the only reason I have a shower every day.
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
So last night I learned something new. Whenever I drink beer out of a bottle a random guy buys me another one. It was like as soon as the glass hit my lips every guy in a 20ft radius got a hard on.
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
and that my friend is why you dont go in for an eye exam and drop 250 dollars on a pair of glasses after smoking a blunt
Do I lose at life if I cry in a grocery store while buying a pregnancy test?
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
You were in the girls bathroom yelling at some random chick because you thought she stole all the urinals. That's why you were kicked out.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
I almost wrecked my car because of a guy in skinny jeans had a boner
Bug bite on my vagina. I think we need to stop this 'sex in awesome places campaign.'
Randomize
