She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
it was really awkward, he kept trying to get on the bed with us and we kept having to kick him back on the floor.
Is it bad to go up to the security desk and ask them for the name of the guy I signed in last night? I have absolutley no clue
Watching the 1st game of the world cup. I'll drunk dial you at 8:30 to wake you up for work.
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
This does no justice to the amount of paint I'm covered in or the amount of balls I'm tripping.
I'm drinking screwdrivers in the pool naked. Call 911 if I don't check in regularly
Bring my gorilla suit and my bong.
Oh its going to be that type of weekend?
WE SHOULD MAKE A WORKOUT ROUTINE CALLED BARCARDIO
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
This can only be settled by a dance off.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Randomize
