He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do I buy ice cream sandwiches or a 40? these are the difficult life decisions I am faced with.
I thought of you while cleaning the forehead prints off my glass doors.
scratched cornea got me an eyepatch and a blowjob from a girl with a thing for pirates
I want to hold her baby but I'm afraid I'll give it a contact buzz
im just laying here pukin in my mouth and swallowing it 'cause im WAY too lazy to actually get up and find a place to vomit. this is my life now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
If you wanna be a real wingman, create some insecurity and comment on that pic of all the hot girls with "Id do every girl in this pic.. except the fat one".
Here you are just trying to masturbate and I'm talking to you like your an initiate for some secret society.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
When I wake up, please remind me why my shoe is in the toilet, my shower is filled with jello, and there is a naked girl sleeping on my coffee table holding a bag of Cheetos. that is all.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
Randomize