you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
I wish the iPhone would register texts from 11:59 as "Last Year" instead of "Yesterday."
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I feel like now would be a good time to apologize for vomiting in your eye
she worked me into her spring break cardio plan. im mondays and wednesdays.
hey i found one of your nipple clamps under my couch, i miss you!
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
she was trying to use her iTranslate app while we were having sex.
I think they make you graduate because you get too old to go hard and become a risk. homecoming weekend wins again. fuck.
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
The worst thing about having to live at your parents again is the struggle to make up more excuses to cover up the booty calls.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
Randomize
