Trust me, I wear more condoms than socks. I wouldn't risk infecting my cock. It's my livelyhood.
i told him i was on my period. he said, and i quote "can we not just lay down some newspapers or something?"
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
And then, I saw the prophecy come to fruition. It was the Dick of Destiny.
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
I know I'm moving in six days but getting wine drunk and laying in bed just sounds so good right now
I didnt know whether I was going to vomit or orgasm because I was feeling both sensations
Randomize
