Take 3 tylenol pms and try to whack off before you pass out. It's impossible.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
Want updates from david's night out drinking? If so text back DAVID to this number. Std rates apply.
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
He bedazzled a shirt for me that said "best head giver" should I be thankful for the gift or concerned that he has a bedazzler?
I accidentally made jungle juice last night.
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