Dude, way to rack up $80 in pornos in the hotel room last night, and not tell me before I got blindsided at check out.
Heh. Guess I ordered some porno last night. Heh.
saw my dad's penis on the x-ray last night. at least his hip wasn't broken
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
I just need someone to hold me and tell me i dont turn boys gay
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
I am literally sitting on the toilet in utter disbelieve that last night even happened. My god that was only Monday.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
I woke up in his closet, with my shirt inside out and backwards, Rolos in my hand, a tortilla with a face carved into it stuck to the fridge with a magnet, a homemade bong next to the bed, and the door off the hinges... I need a chaperone.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
I need my comforter. Pls bring it to me and drape me in it like an animal pelt. Ps I'm naked.
Randomize
