I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
I took my exam the next day still drunk and failed, but I kno for a fact that I filled in the bubbles for my name perfectly
Can I borrow your google glasses to make a sex tape?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Last night she walked off and disappeared from everyone got home at 330 and said she went to the casino with her cab driver.
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I might as well walk around wearing a sandwich board and accept the fact that I'm dying single.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
How did you end up breaking into that laundromat at 3am? I saw the snapchat but like..... How?
It's official cum is not a great leave in conditioner
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I’ve had a lot of vodka, 3 different dicks and no food since last night. Come get me
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