I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
HOLY SHIT! Did you see the dick on that Great White Shark?!?!?!
You should probably just propose to him the old fashioned way: sleep with him and get pregnant.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
It's 3 am and I'm buying cat food and batteries for my vibrator. Good thing I shaved my legs for this.
he thought it would be funny to put his dick inside a beer bottle and wear it around. until we all realized how small his dick would have to be to fit in a beer bottle
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
right after that u started calling me g-force and started trying to bellyslide down his drive way
He flipped a shopping cart in the back room and had to leave to make a jazz playlist. If we aren't in love then i don't know what love is.
Do you recall asking me to zip line through your wedding dressed as a bleeding angel?
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