you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Would you like me to write a persuasive essay on how you should let me suck your dick?
I need to stop having one night stands with guys in my building so I can have someone to borrow milk from without it being awkward
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I thought it was a myth but I have just reached the age of sitting on my balls. Not a fan.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with your brother in my bed...where do you want me to return him?
eating jello out of the cup. with my face. while on the toilet. i am at my lowest.
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Also the girl beside me smells like she's been in a deep fryer.
I told some guy on tinder, that apparently has a prosthetic leg, that I think we started off on the wrong foot. I hate myself...
He took a shot of vodka and AND ATE ME OUT AS A CHASER. YESSS. I AM IN LOVE.
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