I wish scraping a resin bowl could be considered cleaning.
please take me off your list of people to text when you don't want to drink by yourself.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Please don't pee your pants in the cab. One more time, and im pretty sure the cab companies will refuse to pick you up anymore
Just got tinder matched with my COMM TA. Game on.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
He wants Portugal to lose so badly he threw out all the sangria. You know how depressing it is to watch someone dump 4 gallons of heaven?
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
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