it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
Im eating ham and mustard naked, watching south park, but its totally cool cuz the paper plate is covering my nuts
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
You sat there for 20minutes trying to seduce the picture of my dad.
in literally every picture i'm wearing less and less of my costume.
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I guess I made wings because there's chicken everywhere. Even on the walls. 3 of them. It's like a chicken grave yard.
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Don't worry, the house smells like waffles more than sex
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
His dick has the same name as my pipe. I'm keeping him forever.
I dont know. He's too private. After you fuck him find out his secrets.
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