The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Their flight hasn't even left yet and the 'buy food to keep yourself alive' budget is gone on tequila.
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Are you pissed because you didn't get action, or the fact i got boned twice in public places tonight?
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
I feel the need to clarify that I did not show her my vagina.
There's jack Daniels coming out of my eyes instead of tears.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
him crossdressing on the weekends is awkward but not a deal breaker for me.
do you think the dildo I'm bringing through airport security is considered a weapon?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
