grad school is all the worst parts of undergrad, without the binge drinking and bad decisions to make up for it
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
You had a towel around you and you called it your shot bib.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
It looks like I promised him my virginity, in spanish. What the hell did you give me?
When we were finished I asked him how long it had been since he'd cum that hard. He thought really hard for a while before telling me his brain forgot how years worked.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you really just reference your penis in a pep talk? I think I may love you more now.
Our relationship revolved around Taylor Swift albums. It's no wonder it ended so fast
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
When I walked out of the bathroom and you were literally dancing, you looked at me and said 'this is how I dance'. And then continued.
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
Call me Sherlock Holmes, bitch.
Randomize