Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
I feel eeeverything like there's a rhythm and everything can be felt w/o ever touching it. And it's beautiful. Sunshine or raindrops it's like orgasming. Everything has a taste.
apparently we spent 30 minutes inside that big Nike store turning all of their Duke gear inside out. for some reason the employees didn't stop us.
Have you seen Dave? He's not on top of the bar anymore but I found his shirt.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
"willing to pay anyone fun whos willing to hang out and laugh at my jokes while my friends are MIA" is this to desperate?
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
EITHER I'M HIGH OR JUST REACHED A NEW LEVEL OF SINGLE FEMALE SADNESS BECAUSE THIS BROWNIE IS GIVING ME ORGASMS
I just squirted in your honor. It's like pouring one out for the beautiful sex partnership that could have been
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy