Evryone should know as good ramen noodle cooked in beer sounds... its not
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
If your dick isn't up when i get home you're catching tonight.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
The last thing I remembered was laying in the bathtub fully clothed with the shower running while he was picking grilled cheese out of my hair. I couldn't figure out if i was more upset about being soaking wet or the fact that my grilled cheese was in my hair instead of my mouth.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
She's just done the monthly not prego dance around our kitchen
I just made SCOTCHSICLES. no further info is necessary
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
How did work go after you told them you were in jail?
Great they tried to bail me out.
Weird thing is that's not the first time I've been felt up by a Santa. Happens every year
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
So um... You probably shouldn't post that picture of me and your crotch just because that's a new level of raunchiness that I'm not willing to accept yet
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