hey babe thanks for tonight, it was fun.
to be honest, i wanna fuck your friend.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
He handled me like a finger puppet on crack... Time to ice the vagina, I'd like to sit down sometime today.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Fate is real! that hot chick, Megan just showed up dressed as jasmine and I'm dressed as Aladdin this is going to be cake
I can't believe you picked a finger in the ass over lunch with me.
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
Literally just napped at strip club. Don't know how long
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
The last time I saw her someone was carrying her on a bike and she was yelling that she was E.T.
Can finally say I won't be lonely this Valentine's day! Mother nature decided to drop by.