She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
he said "cool" when i took off my bra and proceeded to stare wideeyed at them the ENTIRE time. it was like sleeping with the kid i showed my boobs to for the first time in 6th grade.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Dude, she literally stopped, mid fuck said "I want soup" got off my dick and make top ramen.
The plus side of face planted at the tailgate was that no one could see my nipples hanging out.
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
it was all good until he screamed "for fraaannnceee" on his last thrust
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
I got pulled into the conversation by "she sleeps with everybody" then "she" involved sleeping with "cocks the size of a viva burrito"
The landlord called, GOOD NEWS! Noise violation #2! Something about people singing and fighting with vodka bottles in the parking lot. Well done us.
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
I have a tattoo that says Yolo. You should not have been asking my advice in the first place
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
Do dollar stores sell vibrators?
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