i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
Dude my mom stole all your condoms
this morning my mom told me to get a new vibrator because mine was too loud last night
i fell asleep watchin iron chef that was the blender she heard. i dont even own a vibrator
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you sang the finger bang song from south park while fingering me. needless to say, kind of a turn off.
Would love to except that I crashed into a hearse in a funeral procession about an hour ago so I think that pretty much put an end to my day.
its not like she's the last girl on the planet with symmetrical breasts and great skin
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
Yeah thats cool. We can play the alphabet game while doing bumps of coke in the back of his volswagon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy is here using a taser on people. I'm up next
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
I also told the pizza delivery guy that he smelled good. I must be ovulating.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
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