It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
I respect you for how well you shave your vagina. It isn't easy and my dick faces out, not in.
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He looks like he got hit by a weed-eater with chlamydia
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
I'm getting "congrats on your engagement" shots. I need to get engaged more often!
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
Last night I tried to apply for a job at ihop. That drunk.
You know, you could always move. Lol somewhere without gators, water moccasins, and Marco Rubio.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
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