If that ambulance is off to save our dignity, please tell them it's too late...
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
just got my tax refund and at bell. how do you say i want a grand worth of 5 layer burritos in spanish?
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
Ohhh. Its been awhile. Vending machine hotel condoms are $15 here who can afford to not get herpes?
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
I had him autograph the condom wrapper.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
Randomize
