No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
Only thing I know is apparently I danced with a bouncer and we got a ride back from a valet who was driving one of the cars he was supposed to be parking
I sang Jenna happy bday in the middle of throw up hurls
I'd be there a lot sooner if these damn stairs would stop moving.
I'm microwaving a frozen bottle of Two Buck Chuck while watching The Proposal with my housemate. I'm not sure what success is like, but I'm fairly confident this isn't it.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
I just sit in the cubicle for 8 hours and do keagles.
Did my married ex-boyfriend really tell me that he prays for me? Fucking Judas
Omg one of the midgets from last night just added me to Facebook.
You can not love someone based on who they were when they were 9. Does he know how many dicks I've sucked since then?
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
He showed up at my house with roses and a bottle of vodka... to watch a movie. obvi i took the vodka and didn't sleep with him
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
I went to finger her and found a penny. I think ill keep it.
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