i just saw a guy carrying a medieval times commemerative glass filled with vomit.. there were 2 people cheering him from behind
He jacked off on my pillow when he found out I left. It was like coming home and finding that your dog, with separation anxiety, had pooped in your shoes. I think I'm flattered...
I think she just stepped in a piece of mac and cheese, picked it off the bottom of her foot and ate it.
just wrote a 6 page paper on my blackberry. including 3 sources. college is teaching me good things so far.
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
But i don't feel like talking to him right now. I woke up an hour ago to a picture of his penis and I AM NOT A MORNING PERSON.
Girl your like that last load of laundry... I'll do you eventually just not tonight.
Also, you tried to make me learn all of the presidents, in order, with a picture book as an aid. At 4 am. What the fuck?
Driving by his house every hour is not stalking, it's a reconnaissance mission... How else can I confront him
I HOPE YOURE READY TO KICK SOME SERIOUS ASS AT TRIVIA NIGHT TOMORROW NIGHT. also, i hope the birth of your niece goes well. BUT MOSTLY TRIVIA NIGHT.
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
He facetimed with his son when he was still inside of me. If that's not a dedicated dad I don't know what is
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
Freshly fucked must agree with my hair cause I've gotten compliments on it this afternoon
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