why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
yes he's amazing in bed. he made me like, black out. everything went black it was weird. so yes, i'd fuck him again. plus, he has every season of buffy on dvd
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
Using the balance in my bank account I just calculated how many fifths of vodka I can buy this year. Don't let me buy food, all my money is reserved for alcohol
I was smelling my bathroom to make sure it didn't reek of weed...I spaced out and realized I was face to the wall sniffing it for 5 minutes.
I should make a collage of all the pictures of me caught doing slutty things
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
I think my moral compass just broke
Don't care if they even pay me; I lifeguard for the fringe benefits -- free tourist vagina in the Hilton jacuzzi every single night
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