we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
There's a woman at Starbucks that keeps pushing her stroller into me.
Punch her baby.
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Two hours into move in day and the ambulance is here already.
he ran me a hot bath. i thought i was in a pot and was going to be eaten. i was strangely ok with this
Its official. Girls from Indiana do not give rim jobs.
I'm stranded in the Hampton area. Looks like I'm going to have to take one for the team and pass out by this applebees.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I'm currently braless eating the balls of the penis cake and drinking warm champagne. I'm 3 cats away from crazy at this point
I have to deal with three things I do not like this weekend. Pooping in toilets that are not mine. Air mattresses. Not beating off in the shower.
Oh, honey. If you're seeing a girl just for the sex, never doubt that she knows and she's doing the same thing. We're not stupid, we're just craftier than you.
Would jacking off with Benadryl cream be good or bad for the poison oak on my dick?
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
We live walking distance from the coors factory. no, we do not have a dry week.
Randomize
