Girls should come with a carfax report
I got a lap dance until she said they wipe of the poles between each dance to clear the "std slime", i couldnt even masterbate at home it was a horrible military monday
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
I smuggled my gin and tonic out of the bar by shoving the glass in my pocket...mistakes were inevitable.
it's like his penis is God's way of saying "sorry about his face"
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
He's nice but I'm a one bouncer kind of girl
You can't just beat off while driving someone else's car. Thats a rule
Thats your rule and this car is nice
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
No alcohol sales on Election Day. WTF? Today, of all days, I need to be splurged to to vote for any of these morons running for president.
Thank you for coming with me today. I find it appropriate that we celebrated my negative pregnancy test with slurpees and donuts.
I think my roomie is silently judging me for spraining my foot by having sex in a bounce house
so the bounce house and tequila was good idea then?
Randomize
