We dont have to go to dinner or anything gay like that. I just wanna do it.
I absolutely love you.
He's in bed with me right now. I'm wearing a towel and all I could wish for is my freedom. And pizza.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
If I won't even leave the house for sex tonight. I definetly not going out for anything else.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Get in the lobby, you have to sign my boxers
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
When I left you, you were walking into a room with a half naked girl. When I returned 2 minutes later, you were locked out of the room naked and she was screaming obscenities from inside. How do you manage to make every girl hat you?
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Someone just got pizza delivered to the liquor store.
Hypothetically - think of it as Schrodinger's blow-job.
Woke up at 8am and asked if she had coffee.... She handed me a shot of tequila...
Randomize
