WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
but i have a bet that her boyfriend is going to try and deflower her tonight so i better get a move on if i want to videotape it
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
He looked me straight in the eye when he was fingering me last night...it was very serial killer.
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
Ran into him again last night, stole his glowstick and walked away. The glowstick mountain in my room keeps growing.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
