and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
I wasn't sure if "you're even prettier in the dark" was a compliment. Hmm.
you said you were a responsible adult. then you licked the wall.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
I have had more skin than food in my mouth the last three days
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm unshowered, and since I've seen this episode of say yes to the dress, I've decided to go to the store and get a frozen pizza at 10:20 am. I'm crushing life.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Just for once I'd like my first interaction with a new GP to not be an obvious sex injury.
I planned to shave today but it's Friday the 13th I might cut something
He was passed out, face in the toilet, so I just pissed on his head. Serves him right
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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