new low.... made out with someone while peeing
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
i was sitting in the back seat of her car with her boyfriend while she was driving. it was pretty awkward, but i dont think "so my dick's been in your girl's mouth too" was a good ice breaker
Well i then put my mattress in my closet and am currently on it. This is a new one.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
She's doing shots in her underwear, a fur hat and mittens. I'm never coming home.
When we do our power hour over Skype I'm just going to sit on the toilet so that way I won't have to get up in the middle of it and miss any shots
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
You showed up at my front door in a bikini with a fifth of tequila it was like the opening to a porno
I got her number but I don't think I'll be able to smash, I was pretending to be British AND I forgot her name
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
And somehow in between all the vomitting you managed to mumble "Well this is attractive!" And I swear that's when I fell in love. Best. First. Date. Ever!
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