this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
I'm at the store buying plan b and vodka
the cocktail of hope
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
We are not in the same countries and I heard about your hook up last night BEFORE you.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
She's planning a December wedding, I'm planning on a June breakup.
I'm so happy I'm only on my second drink. That would have been the best idea ever if I was on my fifth.
Thank god for federal credentials. Waaaaayyyy to hungover to go through airport security lines right now.
Literally had to stick my hands in my pants and hold my butt cheeks together while driving
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
We are actually the same person except with opposite genitalia, which are both incredible.
I just peed on myself the semester has officially began.
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Randomize
