It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
We are not on the "bring me breakfast" level. He's bringing me penis if I ask for breakfast too I'll just sound greedy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It's a given that you're going to get peed on at a country concert
also i think i should join the bone marrow registration when im sober
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Can I send you a picture of my penis? I feel like it looks really good right now and I need someone to share it with
You finished the fifth and then hid two dozen eggs around your apartment and declare that you would "quest for Jesus". Have fun questing today.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Let it be known that on this day, the 26th of October, in the year 2016, I successfully put both of his balls in my mouth at once.
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
do nipples grow back?
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