So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Dear male population: sorry for being such a dick tease but thanks for paying for my bar tab and drunk food
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
He came in like 30 seconds. That's how I know he hasn't been cheating on me while I've been gone
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
After you puked in the bathtub you claimed you were never eating quesadillas again and you never even ate a quesadilla
Randomize
