so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
Last night I apparently send my boss a picutre of my boobs. On the bonus part I got a raise today. So I just want to thank your parents for naming you Jeff cuz if I was not so hammered last night I would have sent it to the right one.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Hey so when you left last night was i wearing shoes?
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
2016 shall be rememered as the year I sharted while putting up the Christmas tree.
She grabbed a $20 bill out of my hand, calling it a lap dance coupon and then she dragged me into her bedroom. I think I’m in love
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