I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
You kicked in the door when she was blowing him. You dont remember do you?
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
It took me half an hour to realize I didnt know them
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
I went home with him again and he LEFT HIS OWN HOUSE at 2 in the morning while I was IN THE BATHROOM.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
You're emotionally mature, right? I said you were.
I have at least four things in my line of sight that have Kermit the Frog on them in my dorm. Does that answer your question?
Do you have any idea how awkward it was to type ‘dog twerking’ into google search? Because I don’t think you do.
They are in the bedroom next door. We might have a threesome idk. Jesus take the wheel.
GO. DO.
I am Jesus and I am taking the wheel.
Randomize
