wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
When I woke up in the parking lot today I decided it is not a good idea to hang out with you anymore.
I'm starting to have hip problems from having my legs spread too often.
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
The magnum condom fits. I feel like a manly version of cinderella
Remind me to tell you about how I hit a tree with my car last night.
I'll be glad to.
if anyone asks you the platypus in my bathtub is a gift...thats all anyone needs to know
I sent him home with blood on his fingers and shame in his heart.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
I just snorted sandwich everywhere.
I hope it smells nice :)
IT DOESN'T BECAUSE I HAVE MEAT COMING OUT OF MY NOSE, DAMNIT.
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