She just sent me a txt where every word ended in "zzz", with about a hundred "!!!" and called herself "juicezzz". I need back up.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
I love my roommate; her alcohol problem, her proclivity for passing out on the living room couch, and her fucking awesome size d tits that can never remain clothed. Craigslist jackpot.
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Experimentation with dessert toppings followed by shower sex. Only logical progression bro.
It must have been an amazing night, I have "my pants are responsible people" written on my pants in permanent marker.
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
According to him, i kept saying "I'm belligerent as SHIT" and tried to run around the house in just my bra and underwear. Thats when they decided to carry me to the car and take me home.
One failed naked backward somersault off the bed and I realize - I either need to drink less or workout more. Perhaps both.
I'm keeping him.
Sex was good?
I had to tap out three times. There aren't words for how much better than "good" that is.
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
