My nipple is on Facebook.
omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I'm eating those little wheels of cheese and watching storage wars, this is the opposite of sex.
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
They gave me patron and potatoes I couldn't say no
he played intl players anthem 4me and ate a strawberry out of my pussy
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
One of these days I would like to go out drinking and stick to plan of just getting drunk and not be sidetracked with other people's plans of doing drugs along the way. I didn't even want to not feel my teeth tonight but here we go just another Thursday night when you live I live
We have such a parasitic relationship. But the kind where the parasite benefits from the relationship. Like the pilot fish and a shark. The fish gets the leftover food scraps from the shark and the shark gets a free bath from it.
that's so insightful.
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
It's like Guy Diamond blew glitter into my vagina.
Randomize
