When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
Once he past out I measured his penis with my remote.
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
They took my balls.
The other day I was really high and I felt like my words were coming out of my mouth in flowers...I don't know.
I had a dream he was standing in front of me naked and flexing while yelling VICTORY and gizzing all over the floor.
I did my patriotic duty. I woke up next to a veteran this morning.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
got some info she was last seen with some guy wearing goggles
Any chance he has an open marriage? That penis shouldn’t be wasted on one woman. It should be shared with all womankind, or at least me. I’m too good at sex to be deprived a penis that large
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