Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
some dude just recognized me causeg he had a pic of us making out onvhis phone
I'm pretty sure there was a language barrier but he knew what "harder" meant.
no. it doesnt count as road head if youre parked
He just called me juicy booty via text message.
We just set the fire alarm off with a fog machine. What's my first instinct? Finish my drink. I think I handled that correctly.
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
Who gives a hand job to a 19 yr old one night then the next lets a 31 year old random man fly a plane to town and pick u up and take u to dinner?
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
How the fuck did we end up at a strip club last night.. We started the night playing bingo at a church
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
