I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
awesome recipe for disaster- bar hopping at the airport
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
He left his umbrella behind in my bed to 'keep me company', then stole my front door key before he went to work
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
Passed out drunk in a tanning bed...
Did At The Beach call the fire department to get you like last time?
I have more sex toys than shoes - HOW AM I SINGLE?!?!?
He has a British accent. He could read me the phone book and I would come so hard he would need a wizened old man in a rowboat to save him.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
He showed up with a hearse full of beer and is currently shooting pumpkins with a flare gun. Who gives a shit if he's a furry. We need to party with him more often.
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
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