You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
Do you think there's anyone left in this world that hasn't masturbated in a computer chair?
So im using the back of a keystone box as notecard for my presentation
he got his own cum in his own eye. TWICE. how do you make that mistake again?
I thought we agreed I wasn't a screamer?
you're by far the better bro. your dick is more impressively sized, anyway
I hate that you know that from experience
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
Dude she hit me with my own penis and it hurt. I've never been cock slapped but she slapped me with my own cock so it has to be worse.
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
I cannot believe all 4 of us had sex at the same time, in the same bed... And it didn't turn into a foursome..
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
