Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.
I'm not sure, but I think she had a tampon in when we fucked
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Next year we will be 30 and no more shots during the week.
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
Road trip to buy me a baby zebra..are you in or are you in?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just ran into the woods like an idiot because ADVENTURE.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
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