no more stoned jack in the box. this is the third night in a row.
then we talked for a little and he asked my last name which since I have yet to get a fb request I'm 95% sure its for a restraining order
Dude I still wanna know who I had sex with on new years eve
Just painted my nails at the bar... I may be getting too comfortable here.
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
Send me the picture of my mugshot, my boss got arrested last night and I'm trying to make her feel better.
True idk how my parents didn't know I was blackout. I ate like 4 pieces of cheesecake and showed my cousins my boobs
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
I've literally NEVER been on a date or gotten through one episode of netflix without having sex like I JUST WANT TO WATCH TRUE DETECTIVE
All I did today was eat pizza and use my vibrator.
in your professional opinion, what's the most elegant way of saying "sorry I spent all night flirting with you, I thought you were gay" ?
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
Randomize
