I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
I don't care what you say, cheap wine does NOT taste better in expensive crystal...
well once we started drinking vodka out of wine glasses there was no turning back
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
These shoes are way too nice for a walk of shame. Its how I keep myself in line.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
A talk about Arizona woman's rights politics has never turned to sex so quickly before.
Dude. Going to the Theme park the day after the 4th of July was the worst idea I've ever had.
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
Just got offered cocaine at ihop. Stay classy America.
if you want to know how my night is going I just ugly cried in the cheesecake factory
Randomize
