I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
There is no point in being painfully greyhound thin if you are then going to dress like it's raining in 1992.
if you wouldnt have been fucking me hard and crazy like that then my bed wouldn't have broke. you owe me 600.
so you admit it was good then??
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
The way I'm gonna look at it is, if you don't makeout with your roommate once in college, you didn't do something right.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
I asked if he wanted to sext and he just started sending me pictures of his beard.
you're right. i am beautiful. like a May day. frolicking in a meadow of wildflowers. platinum in one hand. pipe in the other. that kind of beautiful.
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
So...I maybe walked across campus last night with my life size Joe Biden cut out.
Randomize
