the chick doesn't look like she's put anything in her mouth for weeks other than his dick.
When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
We can talk tomorrow when we're both alert. My mind is somewhere else right now.
Where's it at?
In your pants.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its like accelerated beer pong for children.....we train champions young
I've gotta stop getting kicked out of bars for fighting with people over the accuracy of the Harry Potter movie.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
I dont care how high you are "yes" is not the correct response to "what do you want from Taco Bell" Mom.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I'm mortified. After he finished, he turned to me and said,"So, what did you think of my mom?" WTF Please tell me he was not wondering about that while he was going down on me!!!
If this were a real emergency kilted men wielding claymores and riding giant badgers would hve rescued said Guinness. So clearly this is just a hypothetical
I ran into him drunk, barefoot, at rite aid and he said I looked "stunning." Yeah, Stunningly shitfaced haha
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
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