Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
all I know is if I don't watch spice world right now there will be a firefight.
he broke up with me so i peed in his bed
i was high and broke so i stole a roast chicken and a 40 inch sheet cake from wegmans and ate in a bathroom stall.
probably shouldnt have written that paper while wasted, its starts with once upon a time
i tried to stop you but you kept shouting "two birds with one stone!"
Just stepped in shit. Not sure if its mine or the dog's. Get some of our friends on the way back from work and just have the intervention now. I will totally understand.
I almost caused an explosion; It's okay though. because everyone would have died having a good time.
My clit ring got caught in his beard. Never. Again.
i left because you were standing at the top of the stairs throwing shot glasses and bottles full of alcohol at me and yelling JAGERBOMBS
Let me know when ur ready so I can throw up one last time then brush my teeth
Lol, you asked the waitress to box up someone else's discarded food last night
You may have gone on a date, but I ate chicken nuggets shaped like dinosaurs for dinner tonight. I think we both know who the real winner is here.
That's a beautiful sentiment.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Yeah you'd pretty much be ruined if you broke up with a guy like that and then had to return to the dating pool
What conversation warrents "penis" in rainbow comic sans
Randomize
