I'm going to let the use of the word "hella" slide considering I have sperm older than you.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
if you google earth my address you can see me getting out of my car. finally my moment of being famous
Do you ever look back at facebook pics and say, "are those really guys I had sex with?"
He was waring a speedo fashioned out of american flag bandanas and when he got hard he said "you're such a patriot...raising the american flag like that"
You tried telling the RA that girl you brought home was your mom...
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
$200 on plane. $110 on train. $5 per drink on plane. $15 per case on train. Plane 1 hour flight. Train 9 hour excursion. Hmmmmm.
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
What am I even going to do with 20 more jello shots? And don't say give them to the cat
You know it's been a rough week when you funnel beers by yourself.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
