"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish there was a "friends who have gained the most weight since high school" filter on facebook for when I am feeling fat.
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
btw my roommates send a round of applause to you and that guy you tried to fuck on our wall. Additionally they hope he got it in.
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I hope none of us try to run for public office one day
I walked in and found you petting your fish outside the bowl, you said its fine, you do this all the Time.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
I walked so much yesterday and I was like holy fuck I need to do some cardio apart from sex cause this is ridic
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like running into your ex boyfriend at the liquor store at 3 in the afternoon.
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