P.S. I can't hear my feet
So Ive decided I have serious issues. Im walking around the school with a bag labeled booze money collecting from people while slightly hungover at 8:20 in the morning, and nobody is questioning me.
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
So befoe we go on this mission how reliable are you for bailing peope out of jail
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
Chinatown. Her fortune cookie said "accept the next proposition you receive." TELL ME NO NOW.
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
I've been here for three hours and I am already feeling sorry for whatever offspring i will indefinitely produce in this place.
I pray for you bro.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
dude i haven't had a solid dump since sunday and i still cant hear out of my right ear
I am way to hungover for it to be Thursday.
Just because I'm asexual doesn't mean I can't have a revenge fuck.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
