very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
We did it and he fell asleep and I was bored so I decided to go back to the party...is that bad?
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
we hotboxed my bathroom. with nine people and two dogs.
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Is it weird that I noticed my lower half feels strange and then further realized it's bc I'm wearing underwear to bed for the first time in weeks..maybe months?
Got too starbucks. 3out of the 4 girls working i have ducked and haven't ever called. My coffee has dick written on it. It may contain spit by pumpkin lattes are only once a year
Yeah. I found my shirt from last night while walking back to the bar to get my purse/phone this morning. I'm never going to even ask what actually happened. Be glad you moved 7 states away.
Just ate 2 pieces of pizza in the shower.. New low or fuckin brilliant??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
The worst part is there are all kinds of happy creatures out here like fucking snow white and i'm sitting in semi-dead grass, hungover with a burnt butt
First non virgin Sunday. Bursts into flames.
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize