omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
We gave a starfish gin and Lucky Charms. I think it enjoyed it. Best trip to the beach ever.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Is it okay to mention my ambition to become a supervillian and kill all humans on a first date, or is that a second date discussion?
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Your penis is the destroyer of worlds.
Is there a reason why your pubic hair is a plastic bag on my bathroom floor? And yes I know its yours... You wrote your name on the bag
We couldn't find her anywhere. Finally, I saw her sitting in my bathroom floor spraying hair mouse into her mouth and whispering "I fucking love whipped cream." WHAT DID YOU GIVE HER AND CAN I HAVE SOME?
Randomize
