Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
Oh, I'm sorry. I'd rather be "doable" than "the fat chick"
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Okay, quick math test. If our entire group can do at least 6 shots a night, how much alcohol will be needed to keep us shit faced for the rest of the week? This is for a grade. Anddd, go.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
You wanna explain to me why there is a banana shoved down my pants?
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