well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
Martha Stewart would most definitely roll a great joint.
He was actually able to throw up in the bucket from the top bunk. im impressed.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
I don't listen when you talk. I just try to find new creative ways to get you to send me naked pictures.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
im about to bake her parents a "thank you for making such beautiful babies, ive had sex with all 5 of them" cake
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