I'm drunk in f*****g wisconsin and want to kill myself.
If it's any consolation, be grateful that you're not in New Jersey.
i just heard a guy call his kid "Google" in a way that leads me to believe that's his name. this day couldn't get worse.
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
Apparently I was the fucked up drunk guy greeting people at the hotel in the lobby last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Do you know that you can buy Cialis in Mexico? Best. Honeymoon. Ever.
are you listening to the theme from Jurassic Park whilst pooping?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I know he's only a bandaid for my emotional disrepair, but he can stick me anytime!!
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
No fucking Jell-O shots or meth. Those are the rules
I did what i always do when i miss him; masturbate and watch Bridges of Madison County.
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
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