so i texed my mom when i was trashed last night and said "i know its 3 am, just go to bed and i'll be back by the time we leave for the airport"
what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
I got tired of walking to the bathroom that I decided to throw up in a cup. I now have 3 cups full of vomit on top of my mini fridge
I shaved my legs finally. I am starting to remember what my skin feels like.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
Nothing says "get your life together" better than waking up in a tub full of your own vomit. Twice. In one night.
He looks like he has a penis
What the fuck
A good one, a good penis
Its official, drinking for 15 hours counts as a suicide attempt
There is a large scratch and bruise about the size of a pizza bagel next to my vagina. Please text back if you know what happened.
Everyone heard you scream that I was to be naked, in your bed in 5 minutes. We were one hell of a shitshow spectacle
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
It's okay, big boobs are better than running.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
Randomize
