Please, let me fuck your mom
i just realized that we are the poor version of bethenny and jill from real housewives... and I'm jill. this is a 6.5 on the depressing scale
at least we're not in new jersey
I saw a sign that said worlds largest frying pan next exit. Way to do your fucking part Iowa.
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
the lady at the gas station just thanked me for wearing clothes this time... i am so confused
FYI...Jose likes Shamrock shakes better than Jack
It was like being fucked by the god of thunder, he gained power from the storm. I took a Plan B because I don't think regular birth control will stop Thor's sperm.
If youre wondering about the smell, i set your hamster on fire. But don't worry he's ok
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
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