She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
It's a Westpoint/Army thing, we talk about Miley Cyrus a lot
Why?
Because when is jailbait ever not funny? Answer: Never
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Well we didn't hook up. Maybe from his girlfriend's point of view, but not mine.
I'll see ya tonight at your house...and I'm bringing you a special treat that starts with a V and ends with us eventually going to rehab one day.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
A gentleman never tells..... therefore i will neither confirm nor deny the attatched photos
I texted him 3 days ago he said he was pre gaming for the Super Bowl today he just text" gtomajg kaka hee 48!!!"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
YOU HAVE PISSED AND FUCKED ON LITERALLY EVERYTHING IN MY HOUSE
Not everything, just a few things. And only a few times. The odds are really not all that bad when you break it down.
you’ve pissed every time you slept over. there’s no such thing as odds anymore. it’s guaranteed
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Oh my god I need an adult
Wait shit I am an adult
he high fived his dick after we had sex
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