i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
I think the boy in my gender studies class cried when 90% of the girls said they had faked an orgasm
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No hurry on coming over. My body currently wants everything on the inside to be on the outside. But really. Don't hurry.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
I feel like if tampons weren't meant to be microwaved, they'd have a warning on the box, so we should be okay...
Stoned, drunk, and walking into the library. Look at me multitasking!
Pregnancy test = positive. Hope you still have our old guess who game 'cause daddy elimination begins now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm only wearing socks and eating tuna, don't do this to me right now.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
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